Hello, and welcome to this weeks edition of Wellness Goals Weekly, your space for support, inspiration, and practical steps to help you feel your best, from The Wellness Studio.

With all the rain we’ve had in the UK so far this year, it’s easy to feel a bit down. Hoping for sunshine and getting another grey, wet day can be disappointing. That gap between what we want and what we get is disappointment. It’s a feeling everyone knows, and while the weather is a simple example, disappointment can show up in much bigger parts of our lives, too.

Maybe a job opportunity didn’t work out, you missed a personal goal, or a relationship didn’t go as planned. These moments can leave us feeling stuck or doubting ourselves. But what if we could respond to disappointment differently? What if we could use it to grow, instead of letting it throw us off our wellness path?

The Hidden Impact of Disappointment

Disappointment is more than just a brief feeling of sadness. Psychologically, it’s how we react when our expectations aren’t met. If this happens often, it can really affect our mental health. It can make us feel like we’re failing, lose motivation, and start to think our efforts don’t matter.

This emotional weight can show up in your body, too. You might feel more tired, notice tense shoulders, or see changes in your sleep or appetite. Our minds and bodies are linked, so feeling down can make you physically tired as well.

One tricky thing about disappointment is that it’s not always clear. Sometimes we feel a low-level disappointment without even realising it. Have you ever felt a bit off or found yourself putting things off for no clear reason? It might be from small let-downs you haven’t noticed. Maybe a friend cancelled plans, a work project didn’t get the praise you wanted, or you feel like you should be further ahead in life. These small feelings can add up and slowly drain your energy and motivation.

A Shift of Perspective: It Is Fine to Feel This Way

The first step to handling disappointment is to let yourself feel it. You don’t have to fake a smile or act like everything’s okay. Accepting your feelings without judging them is powerful. Just saying, “I feel disappointed, and that’s a valid feeling,” can help lessen its hold on you.

Remember, emotions come and go, like clouds in the sky. They don’t last forever. If you let yourself feel uncomfortable for a bit, it often passes faster than if you try to ignore or push it away.

An Exercise to Process Disappointment

Here’s a simple exercise to help you notice, understand, and rethink your feelings when you’re let down.

1.  Identify the Feeling: Take a quiet moment and name what disappointed you. What did you hope for? What really happened? Write it down. For example: “I hoped to stick to my new fitness routine five days this week, but I only managed it twice. I feel disappointed in myself.”
2.  Validate the Emotion: Allow yourself to feel it. Say or write, “It is understandable that I feel this way. I put effort and optimism into this, and it did not go to plan.”
3.  Find the Lesson or Opportunity: Ask yourself what you can learn from this. Is there something you could try differently next time? This isn’t about blaming yourself, but about finding something helpful to take away. For example: “Possibly starting with five days a week was too ambitious. Next week, I’ll aim for three days. That feels more manageable.”
4.  Choose a Future-Oriented Thought: Come up with a kind statement to replace self-criticism. For example: “I am learning what works for me, and every attempt is progress. I am proud of myself for trying.”

Practical Ways to Build Resilience

Besides this exercise, there are a few mindset shifts and actions you can try to help you handle life’s disappointments better.

1.  Focus on Effort, Not Just Outcomes: You can’t always control the result, but you can control your effort. When you celebrate the work you put in, you stop tying your self-worth to the outcome. This builds inner confidence, which lasts longer than outside praise.
2.  Adjust Your Expectations: This isn’t about lowering your standards, but making them more flexible. Instead of having just one idea of success, try allowing for a few different good outcomes. This flexibility helps you avoid all-or-nothing thinking, so disappointment doesn’t feel as tough.
3.  Practise Self-Compassion: Speak to yourself as you would to a good friend who’s feeling down. You wouldn’t call them a failure. You’d offer kindness, encouragement, and perspective. Give yourself that same kindness.
4.  Take a Small, Positive Action: When you feel stuck in disappointment, doing one small thing on purpose can change your mindset. It doesn’t have to be related to your original goal. Tidy a drawer, take a short walk, or make a healthy meal. This reminds you that you’re still capable and in control.

Creating Your Resilient Future

Disappointment is a normal part of living a full and meaningful life. It shows you’re trying, taking risks, and growing. By learning to handle it with awareness and kindness toward yourself, you can turn frustration into a step toward greater resilience. You stop seeing setbacks as proof you’re not good enough and start seeing them as part of the journey.

So next time things don’t go as planned, whether it’s the weather or something bigger, I hope you give yourself a moment to feel it, learn from it, and gently bring your focus back to what you can control. 

Cheering you on to wellness success,

 Pilates   Soundbaths   EFT   Wellness & Mindset Coaching